Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
