dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
