your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
