Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
