Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
