How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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