i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
