fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You did what with his pubic hair?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
