i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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