The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
