Jerry, you need to find god
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Alive.
So much puke
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
