im having a threesome with these popsicles
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
