what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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