Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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