Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
