she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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