U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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