I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
