Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just high enough for therapy.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
