watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
