2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
