I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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