dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
