So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
