New low: just hacked my moms facebook
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
