how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
