At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
