did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
This is the prime rib incident all over again
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
