When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
