Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
