I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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