I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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