Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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