@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
