I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
