She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
