Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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