I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
