I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
there's paper in my vomit.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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