I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
