I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
