The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
