Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
