the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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