smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
