God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
is wine microwaveable?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
