so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
