He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
