12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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