he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
