And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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