that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
